Duckaholics Creed

Step One: I have admitted that I am powerless when it comes to hunting ducks. My life becomes unmanageable when season begins, so do yourself a favor and stay out of my way!

Step Two: I have come to believe that without an opportunity to “paralyze” a duck with a Commander call, life would just not be worth living.

Step Three: I have made a decision to turn my life, my time and my resources over to getting ready for the second split.

Step Four: I have made a searching and fearless inventory of myself, my truck, my shed, my closet, my carport, under my bed and everywhere else I might have some gear. I will always be ready for duck season!

Step Five: I have admitted to God, to myself and to another human being (probably a hunting buddy) the exact nature of my love for duck hunting and why I can’t stop.

Step Six: I am entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character, as long as He leaves me my shotgun, shells, decoys, dog, boat, duck calls, etc.

Step Seven: I have humbly asked the Federal Government to remove many of their obtrusive restrictions on my beloved sport.

Step Eight: I have made a list of all the people I have irritated because of my addiction (wives, bosses, girlfriends, game wardens, etc.) and became willing to make amends to them, after duck season.

Step Nine: I would have made direct amends to the people on the above-mentioned list, but my retriever ate it.

Step Ten: I continue to take a personal inventory of all the latest duck hunting gadgets and products to make sure I’m on the cutting edge of my addiction.

Step Eleven: I have sought through practice and meditation to improve my duck hunting skills and to learn as much as possible from the Duck Commander about how to deal with this life-long addiction to ducks.

Step Twelve: Having been awakened to the fact that there are many other Duckaholics out there, I will carry the message that there is help available and encourage others to join Duckaholics